Several summers ago, I was invited to stay the weekend at the beach house of a couple I knew through friends. After dinner and an episode of a reality show, the host announced he was heading to bed. His girlfriend, my cohost, replied, “Good night, Babe, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Confused, I asked why she wouldn’t see him later in the evening, when they would, I assumed, sleep in the same room. “Oh,” she replied, “we don’t. He likes to go to bed really early, and I like to stay up and do crafts and FaceTime with my friends, so we sleep in separate bedrooms. We do it at home, too.”
“And that works out for you?” I asked.
“Oh yeah, it’s been great for us.”
This was a few years before the term “sleep divorce” hit the mainstream. Rather than implying trouble in the relationship, the word “divorce” was reframed as a practical solution for couples with conflicting sleeping habits. Pretty soon, everyone was talking about it, including “Today” host Carson Daly, who shares four children with his wife, Siri Pinter. “It’s been good for us,” Daly said in an interview with People. “We don’t do it all the time, but a couple of days during the week — especially if I want to watch an Islanders hockey game kind of later at night — I go into the guest room, she retires upstairs to read her book or watch a show.
“[We say] ‘Good night, I’ll see you tomorrow’ [and part ways]. It just takes a lot of attention out, and it works,” he added. “So, I highly recommend sleep divorce.”
They’re far from alone.
According to research conducted by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM), roughly 31% of adults occasionally sleep in a different room than their partner, while 15% do it regularly.
Sleep divorce has gained traction on TikTok, with couples sharing their experiences. User Marcella Hill called it “The best thing ever,” aside from learning that she couldn’t blame her husband for the unmade bed or the clothes on the floor.
Even though sleep divorce works well for many couples, not everyone wants to sleep in separate rooms. As the conversation grows, new solutions have emerged for partners hoping to share a bed more comfortably.
Case in point: Hostage Tape, a product created by Alex Neist, a mouth breather who landed on the idea after mouthguards and specially designed pillows didn’t help with his snoring. The product seals the lips during sleep to promote better airflow through the nose. Not only is it glue-free and hypoallergenic, it claims to reduce snoring and enhance sleep. It’s even beard-friendly. But behind the product lies a story that’s far more personal.
“When you sleep in different rooms, space starts to continue to grow, resentment starts to build and the smallest little thing just sets everything else off,” Neist says. “And it gets bigger and bigger and bigger, right?”
Before he created Hostage Tape, Neist got divorced from his wife, but they have since reconciled and now sleep comfortably in the same bed.
If conflicting sleep habits are a problem, Dr. Daniel Barone, associate professor of neurology at Montefiore Einstein Medical Center and author of “Let’s Talk about Sleep: A Guide to Understanding and Improving Your Slumber,” advises against turning to sleep divorce without trying other methods. “Often, sleep disorders can be treated successfully, so it may be premature to start sleeping separately,” he said in the Weill Cornell Medicine newsletter. “Getting enough sleep is critically important, so couples should consult with a sleep medicine specialist before opting for a sleep divorce.”
Actress Leslie Bibb, who recently starred in “The White Lotus,” and her partner, actor Sam Rockwell, opted for an alternative solution commonly called “the Scandinavian sleep method.”
“He’s not a great sleeper,” Bibb said in an interview on “Today.” “He’ll just pull the covers ... and the pulling of covers really wakes you up if sleep is something that can be elusive.”
After searching the internet for a solution, Bibb discovered a practice used in Scandinavian countries, which eliminates the top sheet and uses two separate comforters instead. “I bought two extra-large twin comforters and duvet covers,” she continued. “It gives you your own agency in bed, and you can snuggle in there in the morning and night ... but then let’s have some space.”
If a couple decides sleep divorce is right for them, it helps to have a few important conversations first, says Dr. Stephanie Collier, a psychiatrist at Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital.
That includes ensuring both rooms offer a sleep-friendly setup — from bedding and temperature to lighting — and being intentional about scheduling time for sex so it doesn’t get overlooked. “If it’s hard to communicate about it, consider a couples counseling session with an objective third party to guide you,” she suggests.
And who knows? The time apart may lead to a more passionate connection. “I have made myself his lover now rather than [his] boring wife,” TikTok user Hill says. “Isn’t that way better?”
Famous Couples Happily Practicing Sleep Divorce
Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden
Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor
Kevin and Danielle Jonas
Barbara Corcoran and Bill Higgins
Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden
“We should normalize separate bedrooms,” Diaz said in a 2023 podcast interview. Her ideal sleep setup? “I will go and sleep in my room. You go sleep in your room. I’m fine,” she said. “And we have the bedroom in the middle that we can convene in for our relations.”
Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor
Paulson said in 2024 that she and Taylor, who have been together for roughly 10 years, don’t live in the same house. “We’re together when we want to be, and we’re not when we don’t.”
Kevin and Danielle Jonas
Not long after the couple's 2009 wedding, reports surfaced that they slept in separate rooms because of Kevin’s snoring.
Barbara Corcoran and Bill Higgins
Real estate mogul Corcoran says sleeping in a separate bedroom from her husband keeps the relationship spicy. “I have to invite him in — he invites me in occasionally,” she told “Today.” Thanks to their bedtime arrangement, she added, “I sleep like a baby.”