Grace Under Fire

Actress And Mother Candace Cameron Bure Champions Kindness In A Divided World

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Candace Cameron Bure is bringing classy back - one act of kindness at a time.

Inspired by her stint as cohost of the daytime talk show "The View," where she often faced heated debates as the only conservative Christian voice on the panel, Bure decided to write a book on how to be kind under fire.

"Kind is the New Classy: The Power of Living Graciously," released this spring, is the fifth book for the 42-year-old actress, who is perhaps best known for her childhood role as DJ Tanner on the 1990s TV sitcom "Full House." It has since been revived as the hit spinoff "Fuller House," a Netflix original series now in its fourth season and in which Bure also stars in a leading role.

"The idea for the book came to me because I was often put in the position of having difficult conversations with people I disagreed with on 'The View,'" she explains.

During her time on the show, which also coincided with the 2015-2016 election year, Bure often discussed political hot-button issues. One notable controversy was a debate with co-host Raven-Symoné on whether an Oregon bakery should have been fined for refusing to bake a wedding cake for a same-sex couple. Bure defended the bakery owners' freedom of association and constitutional rights, while Raven-Symoné believed the fine was just for having violating Oregon's anti-discrimination law. Things didn't end well, with Raven-Symoné retorting on-air, "I refuse to associate myself with you right now." It wasn't the first time things got heated on the show - nor would it be the last.

"So many people get to a point where civil discourse is lost when they don't agree with each other," says Bure. "We get emotional, we react out of anger or frustration, and then we walk away wanting nothing to do with the person again. Despite our differences, I always wanted to find a way to make these conversations still respectful and kind. It's a lost art today."

In the introductory chapter of her book, Bure recalls an act of kindness from her cohost Whoopi Goldberg. As news came in of the 2015 San Bernardino mass shooting, close to where Bure's three children were attending school, Bure crawled into the tiny closet in her dressing room and sobbed, terrified.

"Tears streamed down my face as I tried to calm myself and figure out how to pull it together enough to get through the live, one-hour show that started in just 30 minutes," she writes.

Then came a persistent knock on the door, which she hoped would eventually go away. But, instead, it continued, louder and firmer. When she finally opened it, there stood Goldberg, who asked if she could come in. When Bure managed to whisper yes, Goldberg stepped in and hugged her "like a mama bear hugs and protects her babies," Bure writes.

Goldberg reassured her that everything was going to be fine, Bure recalls: "I've got your back. I won't let you fall out there. It's gonna be okay. Just speak from your heart today."

Though she left "The View" after two seasons, that simple act of kindness made a lasting impression on Bure, who notes its power to transcend all barriers and dividing lines, whether religious, political or racial. In contemplating how to get back to a culture of kindness, Bure says she often reverts to what she was taught as a child.

At home, this includes teaching her children to put others' needs before their own and making sure her sons open doors for women and help their mother with chores.

"Good manners, being kind and respectful to others - those are the basics we have to get back to," she says. "Courtesy is such a simple concept, but much of it is lost on younger people today. I hope this book is a reminder of that."

Bure recently celebrated her 22nd wedding anniversary with Valeri Bure, a now-retired Russian-American NHL player for teams like the Florida Panthers, Dallas Stars and Montreal Canadiens. Based in Los Angeles, the couple shares three children - Natasha, 20; Lev, 18; and Maksim, 16 - as well as a small family wine-making business out of their second home in Napa Valley.

While their daughter still lives at home, attending college locally and pursuing a career in singing after competing on season 11 of "The Voice," son Lev will soon be leaving the nest for college.

"He'll be playing hockey, and so we're waiting to hear which teams he's been accepted to," says Bure.

"I have two years left with my youngest son, and I'm savoring every moment. I really have a lot going on, work-wise, and I've been trying to hold it off so I don't get overwhelmed. I really want to enjoy the last few years with my kids at home."

To Bure, "holding off" means starring in and producing at least three movies a year for the Hallmark Channel; writing her first children's book, "Candace Center Stage," which is coming out this October; and trying her hand at directing "Fuller House." Previously, she competed on season 18 of "Dancing with the Stars," finishing in third place.

"We're hoping for as many seasons as possible of 'Fuller House' - fans have been asking for this for at least 20 years, and it's so thrilling to have made it to season four," says Bure, who will be directing the ninth episode of the show this season. "It never felt strange to go back - we're all such close friends, and it's pure joy to get to work with them every day. And being on Netflix means people in every country are watching it in real time with no delay or time lag. It shows how loved 'Full House' was all over the world."

In addition to this, Bure recently launched a product line of stationery, T-shirts, housewares and other goods with DaySpring.com.

With that kind of workload, it comes as no surprise that Bure notes the importance of being kind to ourselves as well as others.

"When we're not getting proper sleep, eating properly or meeting our basic needs, it's very difficult to get through our day, much less display the kindness and class we aim to have," she says. "It becomes much more difficult when we are tired and drained. It's not about a 'me first' attitude, but rather meeting the basic need of being kind to yourself first."

Bure acknowledges it's often harder for women to juggle self-care with caring for others.

"As a woman, I want to please everyone, be there for everyone. It's hard to say no and disappoint others," she says. "Remember that saying no and putting up boundaries is neither rude nor mean as long as the way in which we speak to others is still respectful. It's all in the way we communicate with each other."

As a devout Christian - her brother is an evangelist and the former child star of "Growing Pains," Kirk Cameron - Bure is often vocal about her faith. It's a position that she maintains is non-partisan.

"It's not about being a Democrat or a Republican - it's about staying true to my faith and not being scared to share it," she says. "I don't have to go in there thinking I'm going to win a debate or change someone's mind - that's where you get into trouble. I'm willing to listen to the other person's point of view, and, if we disagree at the end of the day, sometimes that means just leaving it on the table and walking away." O