Breaking The Silence

On the football field, Solomon Thomas is known as a formidable defensive lineman for the New York Jets, yet the 28-year-old NFL player is also leaving his mark off the field with his nonprofit, The Defensive Line Foundation.

Thomas and his parents, Chris and Martha, co-founded The Defensive Line two years ago, hoping to end the epidemic of suicide, especially for young people of color. The organization was founded in 2021 in memory of Thomas’ sister, Ella, who died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound on Jan. 23, 2018 at the age of 24.

Ella wasn’t just Thomas’ older sister, she was also his best friend. After her sudden death, he struggled to process his grief and remembers feeling as though he couldn’t talk openly about his sadness and depression without being perceived as weak.

During the months following Ella’s death, his feelings of sadness intensified to the point where it became difficult just to wake up each morning and go to work. Finally, at the suggestion of his former boss, 49ers General Manager John Lynch, Thomas made an appointment to speak with a therapist.

“I remember telling myself, ‘I’m okay. I’m strong. I’m a man, I’m going to push through this,’” Thomas says. “The first thing my therapist did was teach me how to put my feelings into words.”

Through therapy, Thomas came to understand that it was okay to talk about his feelings and grieve his sister’s death. He also learned coping mechanisms such as breathing techniques and meditation to help relieve the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

“I learned it was normal to feel sad and that holding on to the pain and carrying it with me every day wasn’t a sign of strength,” Thomas says. “I tell everyone now, the strength is not in silence, strength is vulnerability, it’s being able to tell someone how you truly feel.”

By speaking his truth, Thomas says he’s been able to connect with others who are also going through difficult times and has even seen conversations among his teammates become more open and honest.

“After I started speaking openly about my feelings, I began to hear from so many others who had experienced sadness, depression and anxiety,” Thomas says. “We all have moments where we experience these feelings.”

Shining A Light On Depression

With The Defensive Line (thedefensiveline.org), Thomas hopes to reduce youth suicide by providing health and wellness programs, education and support to students and families across the country. His mission is timely with reports that youth suicide has reached an all-time high.

“According to the CDC [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention], the suicide rate for adults in their early 20’s is the worst it’s been in more than 50 years,” Thomas says, making reference to a study releasing figures reflected during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Indeed, the statistics paint a troubling picture. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) says that since 2017, suicide has been the second leading cause of death in those 10-19 years old and that rates of suicide among black youth have risen faster than any other racial/ethnic group in the past two decades. They report that early adolescent black youth are twice as likely to die by suicide as compared to white teens.

In addition, a 2023 report released by the CDC found that teens who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual and questioning (LGBTQ+) are experiencing extremely high levels of mental distress, violence and substance abuse. The report went on to say that a combination of factors puts young people at risk for suicide, depression, substance abuse, poor academic performance and other severe consequences. To help teens, the CDC says schools can offer a critical lifeline for students facing trauma.

Thomas says The Defensive Line strives to help schools through its D-Line suicide prevention workshops where speakers talk about suicide warning signs, risk factors and help teachers and other educators learn how to have difficult conversations with students. The nonprofit also offers a Parent University, panel discussions and other options that give parents and educators the resources they need to support students and establish a school action plan.

For those who worry a loved one may be feeling suicidal, Thomas recommends asking the person, not just how they’re doing, but how they’re really doing.

“All too often people ask how someone is doing without waiting for an answer. It’s important to let the person know you really care about them, and you provide a safe place where they can be open,” he says. “They may not open up right then, but emphasize that if they’re going through something difficult, they can always talk with you.”

Thomas says his goal is for The Defensive Line to be in every school and to eventually serve as a universal program that everyone can utilize to reduce the stigma and negative attitudes around mental health.

“Ultimately, we want to continue to save lives and make the world a better place by letting people be themselves and to normalize conversations around mental health,” he says.

Through his nonprofit, Thomas says his own outlook on mental health has changed as he learns more about depression and suicide.

“I know now that clinical depression is an actual health condition that brings on persistent feelings of sadness and hopelessness,” he says. “It’s really important for people to understand the science behind depression and that people can’t just ‘snap out of it.’”

Thomas says the response he and his parents have received from schools regarding their work has been extremely positive and that The Defensive Line’s programs are very much needed.

“We’ve received feedback that after our programs, people feel more comfortable talking openly about depression and that educators can now recognize signs that a student may be feeling suicidal,” Thomas says. “To see our work save lives really motivates us to keep going.”

It’s also helped him to better understand the link between mental and physical health and to prioritize his own self-care.

“My mental health impacts all areas of my life: sports, family and friends, so I realized I need to work on myself every day in order to be the best in all those areas of my life,” Thomas says. “I used to believe if I just worked hard at football, I’d be okay, but I learned I also need to practice self-care whether that’s through journaling, meditating or therapy, in order to be the best version of myself both on and off the field.”

When he’s not playing football or working with his nonprofit, Thomas, a self-described “big foodie” enjoys traveling and trying new restaurants.

“This past offseason, I went to Vietnam and Iceland,” he says. “I love seeing different cultures and observing how people outside the U.S. live. I think travel can offer amazing perspectives.”

When he’s at home, Thomas enjoys reading, watching sports and working out.

“Although training is part of my job, exercise is still something I do for fun,” he says with a laugh. “I’m also a theater nerd and have been going to Broadway a lot recently, since I’m in the New York area. I’m a pretty simple guy.”

Looking to the future, Thomas hopes to grow The Defensive Line and to include after-school programs and other offerings where students can talk openly about their mental health.

“I spoke at a mental health club at a school in Palo Alto, Calif. and I thought it would be cool to offer [The] Defensive Line clubs in schools across the country,” he says. “It would provide students with a space to have safe and honest conversations and to realize they aren’t alone in what they’re going through.”

Thomas remembers a time when he used to think he was a burden to others if he was feeling sad, but today he knows it’s completely fine to not feel okay and he’s realized that no one feels happy all of the time.

Through The Defensive Line, he hopes to share the lessons he’s leaned with students and also advise them not to believe everything they see on social media. He cites research showing a connection between teens’ social media use and depression.

“The downside of social media is that it’s the highlight reel of others’ lives,” Thomas says. “That’s not real, life is good and bad, and it’s not a weakness to tell someone you’re going through a difficult time and feeling sad. It takes a lot of strength to ask for help.”