Solo Strength

The fear of solitude is a common human emotion that often begins at birth. Infants need connection, such as being held, for survival.

As children, we don’t want to play by ourselves at the playground or sit alone at lunch in school. We are often concerned about how others perceive our solitude and the emotions it stirs within us, believing something must be wrong with us if we’re alone.

These feelings of discomfort often persist into adulthood. We don’t want to dine in a restaurant or go to a movie on our own. Isolation and loneliness have been associated with anxiety and depression. Sleep problems and frequent illnesses are also linked to loneliness.

However, there are valuable benefits to spending time in one’s own company. “It can help you develop a deeper relationship with yourself as well as provide comfort and boost self-esteem,” says Leslie Rouder, LCSW, who practices in Boca Raton. “It lets you explore what you want and when. It opens the possibility of meeting and engaging with people around you in ways you might never experience when with others. I meet a lot more people when I’m by myself.”

Here are some strategies to help you embrace solitude without feeling lonely.

Practice Gratitude

Recognize the goodness in your life. Think of something small that made you happy, like texting a friend or drinking your favorite coffee. Write down what you’re grateful for or tell someone why you’re happy they’re in your life.

Fill The Silence

Music and sounds can help fend off loneliness by improving your mood. Explore options beyond music, such as audiobooks, podcasts or talk radio, which can provide both information and entertainment. Opening a window to hear the sounds of birds and people can also help you feel connected to the outside world.

Head Outside

Spend time in nature, says Rouder. Walk in the park. Sit on your deck. Taking in outdoor sights and smells can remind you that you are part of a larger world.

Connect With Animals

Sure, the ducks at the pond can’t talk, but they can provide companionship. Walk in the park and look at the birds. Or volunteer at a local animal shelter. Being of service to others will help foster connections and alleviate feelings of loneliness, says Rouder.

Try Something New

Step outside your comfort zone by engaging in activities you’ve never tried before. Take a class or learn it independently, says Rouder. Enroll in an art course, write a poem or bake a cake. Exploring new interests and skills can be a fulfilling way to spend time on your own.