Unfortunately, just about everyone has experienced a broken friendship. It can be over a misunderstanding, a falling out or hurt feelings.
However, you can take measures to repair platonic relationships. “It’s definitely possible to repair a broken friendship, but it may require effort and perhaps some discomfort,” says Aaryn Post Gottesfeld, PhD, a licensed psychologist who practices in Boca Raton.
Gottesfeld advises that before you do anything, reflect on why the friendship became fractured. Did it happen over time or did a single incident cause the rupture? Were your feelings hurt or did you hurt the other person’s feelings? “Before reaching out to a friend with whom you have developed a rift, start by asking yourself these questions.”
Here are a few ways to help.
Let Time Pass
Give the friendship some space. Breathing room can help things return to normal. “Time may have passed, and you may no longer even remember why you were upset or why you lost touch,” says Gottesfeld. “In that case, simply reaching out may be enough to mend the relationship.”
Reflect On The Good Times
Ponder why the friendship made you happy. Maybe you had a laughing fit over a joke or commiserated over a difficult work project. You can even reminisce about those points when you reach out. “Reflecting on the past with your friend and reminding them how important, helpful or fun your relationship has been can help both of you lean into the strength of the relationship,” says Gottesfeld.
Communicate In A New Way
If you’ve tried a phone call and that didn’t work, use an alternative method to reach out. Write an email or send a letter. You can often convey more profound thoughts using the written word, and oftentimes people are more receptive to what is said in a letter. “Sometimes writing it down can give the other person a chance to digest your words instead of reacting defensively,” says Gottesfeld.
Be A Good Listener
Hear your friend out. “Acknowledge how the other person feels and that you contributed to them feeling that way,” says Gottesfeld. “We’re often so focused on our own hurt feelings that we don’t see our role in the breakdown of a relationship. Sometimes simply listening and allowing a friend to feel heard is enough to get things back on track.”