Daddy Dearest

Keeping both career and home life on track is a daily challenge for working parents.

Since fatherhood is not the spectator sport it used to be and social norms have progressed, more dads want to be home with a newborn from the beginning to support their partners, help with childcare and share in the joy of a new addition to the family.

Attitudes toward maternity and paternity leave have changed along with this cultural shift. Companies are recognizing that the ability for fathers to have hands-on Daddy duty through paid paternity leave is an attractive benefit they can use to recruit and retain talent.

The Scandinavians take the gold medal for the most generous paid parental-leave policies. Iceland offers three months for mothers, three months for fathers and three months that parents can share as they wish.

While the United States is one of the few countries that doesn't mandate paid maternity or paternity leave, more private companies and public agencies are stepping up to the plate to offer fathers paid time off under parental or family leave. Last year, Palm Beach County government added paid parental leave for its employees, joining several local county and city governments already doing so.

In Florida, working parents without paid parental benefits may qualify for the federal Family Medical Leave Act to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid time off to care for a new baby and keep their jobs secure.

Although American men are less likely than women to take paid or unpaid parental leave, according to the Institute for Women's Policy Research report Paid Parental Leave in the United States, "fathers who take time from work around childbirth are more likely to spend more time with their children in the months following their children's birth, which could reduce stress on the family and contribute to father-infant bonding."

The report also notes that "paid family leave increases labor market attachment, economic security and the health and welfare of families and children and has the potential to help businesses thrive, reduce spending on public benefits programs and promote economic growth and competitiveness."

Dad 2.0

Dan Cunningham, 35, a manager and associate actuary in the Actuarial and Economic Services Division at Boca Raton-based National Council on Compensation Insurance (NCCI), has been with the company for seven years. He and his wife, Connie, also an actuary at NCCI, are the parents of Kayla, 18 months old, and Cameron, who just turned 3.

With both births, Connie took 12 weeks off for maternity leave, and, after her leave ended, Dan took his three weeks paid paternity leave before both children went to daycare onsite at NCCI.

Before Jan. 1, NCCI offered three weeks paid paternity leave, says NCCI Total Rewards Manager Jennifer Gunter. This year, the company rolled out a paid family leave program in which employees are eligible for four weeks of consecutive pay to care for a seriously ill family member or to bond with a new child entering the family by birth, adoption or foster care placement. Employees also have access to company paid time off, short-term disability and FMLA to use for various leaves of absence.

"I was thrilled to have the time at home," Dan says. "I think it was really a great bonding experience."

Being able to extend his time at home before the girls went into daycare was a big plus, he believes: "I really enjoyed being able to spend time one-on-one with my children. I loved it as a father. I'm always going to lose being the favorite parent with them, so having this time alone with them at home was great. It enhanced my relationship with both."

Dan reports that it was fairly easy to get back into the swing of things at work, but it was harder on Connie to transition the girls to daycare for the first time. Having daycare where they work is a major advantage for the couple. The family commutes to work together, Connie continued to breastfeed during the day and Dan is able to play with his daughters throughout the work day.

Last year, the Cunninghams faced an unexpected medical crisis that required more time off from work. Kayla, then 9 months, was diagnosed with a neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer. She underwent four months of chemotherapy, during which Connie took short-term disability to be with her.

Another company benefit helped the couple during their time of need.

"We have a program we both used last year called PTO donations, where employees donate their time off," Dan says. "We were amazed at the support that we got from the other employees here so we could take time off to take care of our kids."

On a happy note, the chemo treatment was successful.

"She is 100 percent cancer-free, back in daycare," he says. "She's a perfectly healthy little kid. We're very happy. All the benefits we had available to us it's very much appreciated."

NCCI's Gunter adds: "We're a family-oriented organization. We want to continue to be an employer of choice in providing this additional benefit for our employees. With what's happening today in the workplace, we wanted to kick things up a notch with implementing the paid family leave to further offer our employees a value-add for working at NCCI."

Dan will be happy with the company's new four weeks paid leave when the couple has their third child, he says. And, after two daughters, "I'm looking forward to four weeks with my little boy," he says.

Better Together

Dr. Brian S. Canfield, a licensed marriage and family therapist, a licensed psychologist and a professor of clinical mental health counseling at Florida Atlantic University in Boca Raton, agrees that equality in the workplace is an important component of the leave issue.

"We have to look at it in terms of a truly equal society," he says. "Men are just as entitled as women are."

He adds: "This is one of those issues that, as an affluent society, we can actually look at and entertain how we can use resources that would better society."

Although attitudes are changing, Dr. Canfield notes that there have been some cultural impediments preventing men from taking time off.

"Taking time to play that nurturing role with a newborn is culturally not prominent in our society," he says.

Surprisingly, Dr. Canfield believes that the father's involvement with the newborn at the very beginning, as nice as it may be, is not critical for the child. The parent-child bond is "going to occur over months and years," he says. More important for the child, he says, is having a mom and a dad who are "reasonably happy and well-adjusted in their own life."

Dr. Canfield notes that taking leave serves to strengthen the pair-bonding between mother and father, helping them to work together in a more collaborative manner.

Is paid paternity leave essential in today's society?

"Essential, no. Desirable, yes," he says. "One of the biggest stressors to a couple is a newborn. As much as we're told we're supposed to love and cherish this newborn, and we do, it's a big stressor. Anything you can do to reduce the level of stress is a good thing." O