There’s no wrong way to live your second act. And a new book by Emmy Award-winning actress Patricia Heaton is helping readers set the stage for it.
Filled with true accounts of people who transformed themselves mid-life – in sometimes-jaw-dropping ways – Heaton hopes readers of “Your Second Act: Inspiring Stories of Reinvention” will not only find motivation but also practical steps to start their own process of discovery.
It’s certainly a fitting topic for the former TV mom, who didn’t get her big break as an actress until she was 38, on the long-running sitcom “Everybody Loves Raymond,” followed by “The Middle.”
This is the third book for Heaton, 62, who previously published a memoir and a cookbook of budget-friendly recipes. Now in a different stage of life – as a mother of four sons facing an empty nest for the first time – she’s taken time to reflect on the blessings of her past as well as what could be in store for the future.
The timing for a book like this couldn’t be better, she says: “Now that the whole world has had to quarantine, we’ve been given a lot of time to reflect on what’s really important in our lives. Some people realized they want to change direction. Some folks have lost their livelihoods altogether and will be forced to find a new path for themselves.”
While some might think second acts are the same as second chances – in that both present an opportunity to try something new – they’re not quite the same thing, Heaton says.
“The problem I have with the phrase ‘second chance’ is that it suggests correcting some previous endeavor or mistake. In my view, no experience in life is a mistake or a waste if we learn and grow from them. I feel very blessed to have had the career I’ve had, given that I didn’t move to LA until I was in my 30s and had no agent, no manager, no car and only one commercial on my reel to show for my nine years in New York. It’s miraculous that my career even happened, so I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Born and raised in Ohio, Heaton always assumed she’d follow in the footsteps of her journalist father and brother before she switched to studying theater in college. After graduation, she moved to New York to start her career, but it only began to take off once she relocated to Los Angeles.
For her role as Debra Barone on “Everybody Loves Raymond,” she was nominated as Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series at the Primetime Emmy Awards seven years in a row – and won twice. Heaton also won a Screen Actors Guild Award in 2003 and, in 2012, received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
More recently, she embarked on a new venture as the producer and lead actress of “Carol’s Second Act,” a CBS show about a 50-something woman pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor after getting divorced and raising her kids. Although the show was canceled this spring, it further sparked Heaton’s interest in stories of people who stepped out of their comfort zones to reinvent themselves.
And there’s certainly no shortage of inspirational accounts in “Your Second Act,” including profiles of a multimillion-dollar medical-staffing company started from scratch by a woman of color; an NFL player turned opera singer; and a high school dropout and ex-convict with mental illness who developed a line of all-natural, organic breads.
Some second acts are by chance, Heaton writes, such as when the owner of a hotel renovation business tried to return a pair of Levi’s jeans that didn’t fit to a local clothing store. Frustrated by the lack of size options, 40-year-old Donald Fisher and his wife, Doris, opened the first Gap retail store in the 1960s, going on to build a net worth of more than $3 billion.
Other second acts are intentional, such as those of Julia Child and Martha Stewart, who both made the most significant career changes of their lives in their 40s, Heaton writes.
“Julia Child was previously in advertising and media, and it wasn’t until age 49 that she cowrote her first cookbook, ‘Mastering the Art of French Cooking,’ which set her on a path to becoming a multimillionaire celebrity chef. Martha Stewart was 40 when she followed in Julia’s footsteps, learning how to cook from her recipe books and then wrote her own book, ‘Entertaining,’ and built an entire lifestyle empire from there.”
Major life changes, such as divorce, death of a loved one or becoming an empty nester, often drive people toward reinvention as well. For women, especially, the latter can be mentally and emotionally devastating.
“Losing the idea of Mom as your main identity is a huge adjustment,” says Heaton, who lives with her husband, British actor and director David Hunt, in Los Angeles. “My sons are all in their 20s, and, until the pandemic hit, they were spread out around the country, with the two youngest still in university. Now three of them are hunkered down in LA with us, and it’s been fun being together again!”
But, when her boys first flew the coop, she felt their absence deeply, she recalls: “One of the adjustments I made was to quit drinking alcohol. I had no boys to tend to and, for a while, no job to go to; as a result, I noticed my drinking was slowly becoming more frequent. In fact, studies show that drinking can become a problem for women in their 40s and 50s. So, the key to adjusting to an empty nest is to find that new purpose – your second act – to fill that void in your life.”
Currently, Heaton is seeking another acting role to sink her teeth into while also looking forward to working with Hunt on several film projects.
“The beauty of being an actor is that you never have to retire – you just age into different categories,” she says. “What I am most currently excited about is the slate of movies my husband and I have been developing. We now have the time to actually make them, and we are really enjoying the process! It has reignited our creative flame, and we look forward to each new challenge these projects present.”
One particular part of Heaton’s second act – producing her first independent feature comedy with her husband – has already taught her some valuable lessons.
“I’ve had to learn to trust the process and step out without knowing exactly where the road is leading,” she says. “I’m learning to be fully prepared while also being open and flexible. That last part is challenging for me, but the benefits of being able to adapt to unexpected situations makes life easier!”
Along the way, Heaton has thought long and hard about all the misconceptions that come with age, like whether it were too late – or if she were too old – to pursue her dreams.
“These were dreams and desires I had placed on hold because of whatever pressing thing in the moment that was taking my time – motherhood and family, my career, life,” she writes. “I couldn’t let go of those things that were sitting on the sidelines of my heart. I had to bring them to pass. And that is what a second act is all about.” O