It’s that voice inside your head. It doubts you, judges you and says you’re not good enough. What’s more, it goes so far as to say things you’d never say to someone else. You know that voice well: it’s your inner critic spouting negative self-talk.
What you say to yourself matters. “Self-talk is thoughts, in our own voice, that are ever flowing through our heads throughout the day that tell us what we perceive about ourselves or others,” says Lindsay Cooke, a licensed mental health counselor with a private practice in East Boca Raton.
Cooke explains that self-talk can become negative as people judge themselves or others based on prior experiences or insecurities. Left unchecked, negative thoughts can lead to anxiety, depression and other mental health problems. “People tend to be harsher on themselves internally and sometimes don’t even realize it,” she says.
Treat yourself with kindness. Follow these tips to banish negative self-talk.
Stop Demanding Perfection
We all hold failures and flaws. Embrace them and move forward for a more self-confident and happier you. Keep going even when you make a mistake. “Realizing perfection doesn’t exist is key to decreasing self-criticism,” says Cooke.
Monitor Social Media Consumption
This person got a promotion. That person lost 30 pounds. Social media can make you feel like you don’t measure up to what you see online. “Social media can be a breeding ground for developing negative beliefs as most tend to compare themselves to others’ pictures and stories online,” says Cooke. Create boundaries by restricting or deleting apps, she adds.
Talk Back
Remove your inner critic’s power. Tell it to go away when you hear it. Say you won’t listen to it and that you know it’s a liar. Promise that you’ll be kind to yourself instead.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
People in your life should be supportive and positive. They should give helpful advice and feedback. “If those around you are toxic or judgmental, it can affect your own view of yourself,” says Cooke.
Talk To Yourself Like You Would A Friend
Ask yourself if this is how you’d speak to your BFF. Remind yourself of who you really are and that we all make mistakes. “Practicing compassion for oneself can be helpful in recognizing negative self-talk and the impact it has on oneself,” says Cooke.