In a recent episode of “A Million Little Things,” a television show that recently finished its run on ABC, an expectant couple attends a baby-care class. The dad-to-be could care less about learning how to swaddle or change a diaper. His only goal is to make a new friend.
It can be tough to make friends when you’re older. “The younger we are, the more exposed we are to environments like school, extracurricular activities, summer camps and leisure activities where friendship building felt natural,” says Arturo Paulino, Ed.D., a therapist with the Spanish River Counseling Center in Boca Raton. And we may fear that others won’t or don’t want to be our friend. “As we grow older, we’re more aware of social cues and pecking orders,” says Paulino. “Combined with our own awareness, this could make us get into our heads.”
Friendships can strengthen the immune system, lessen memory loss and lower dementia risk. Social situations teach us new things, which helps with stress management and brain function. “Friendships can bring positive feelings to our lives such as happiness, belongingness, support and laughter,” he says.
Here are some ways you can make friends as an adult.
Volunteer
Get involved in causes that matter to you and you’ll meet like-minded people. You may not make friends with everyone who shelves books at the library, but you will meet people who also like reading. You’ll have something to talk about immediately.
Befriend Other Parents
You’ll likely meet other parents when you’re with your kids — whether it’s at school pick up, a birthday party or the park. You have kids in common, so you have a built-in common ground. Talk about homework, town sports or a school event.
Get Set Up
Ask friends to connect you with their friends. It’s like asking someone to set you up on a date. Hang out as a group at first and then branch out to solo ventures.
Join A Book Club
Connect with someone over your passion for an author or book. Ask your local library if they host clubs or find one on social media. At the very least, you’ll read a new book.
Hit The Field Or Court
If you’re more of the athletic type, join an adult basketball or softball league. You’ll share a common interest as you get competitive. Ask your local recreation department what sports are offered in your town.