The person in front of you at the grocery store has 100 items. Your toddler is having a fit at the park. You’ve been on hold with the cable company for an hour. These short-term situations can be trying for even the most patient person.
Patience is not just about waiting briefly. “It’s the practice of delayed gratification and long-term goal setting,” says Alex Ribbentrop, a licensed clinical social worker who practices in Boca Raton. “Patience involves the active practice of not acting on an immediate urge, want or desire for the sake of a longer term, more beneficial aim or goal.”
For example, you save now for retirement. You work toward a graduate degree. “It’s about setting a future-oriented goal that requires longer-term, consistent effort. The effort over time will pay off and better your future.”
Impatience is linked to irritability, risk of heart problems and a higher depression rate. “When we’re stressed and anxious, we can’t access the rational parts of our brain,” says Ribbentrop.
Patient people have higher self-esteem, better self-control and more calmness.
Here are some tips to help boost patience.
Watch For Your Triggers
Notice when you’re impatient. See what’s really bothering you and avoid those triggers. “The more stress you’re experiencing, the harder it will be to practice patience and more likely you are to respond to triggers,” says Ribbentrop. Maybe you’re impatient that you’re stuck in traffic. It’s because you don’t want to miss your son’s baseball game. Next time, go a different way.
Put Yourself in the Other Person’s Shoes
The situation may not be about you. “When we’re stressed, the parts of our brain responsible for higher-order thinking go offline,” says Ribbentrop. The drive-thru line isn’t slow to make you late for work. The cash register didn’t break to make your shopping take longer. Whatever is triggering you may not be about you.
See The Bigger Picture
Dealing with a delay can reap long-term benefits. Yes, your toddler is having a tantrum because she must eat her meal before she can have dessert. Still, it’s important for her to develop healthy eating habits. And while you’re getting impatient that, yet another job interview didn’t pan out, you need a role that’s a good fit for your career goals. Try coping strategies like exercise and meditation, says Ribbentrop, so that you can effectively manage stressors when they arise. “If we can prepare, then we can practice patience better.”